Sloth and Popsicle from Carson Mischel on Vimeo.

Batman

Once upon a time Batman was canning pickles with his grandmother when he saw the bat signal blaze across the sky through the open kitchen window.

"Sorry granny, gotta run, my city needs me"

Batman dashed from the room, accidentally knocking one of the jars of pickles to the floor with his cape and leaving his stunned grandmother dripping with pickle juice.

a couple of minutes later Batman returned to kitchen where his grandmother was still mopping up the mess he had made earlier.

"I guess it was just a car pulling into the driveway." he said in a very disappointed tone

Batman's grandmother gave him some homemade snack mix to cheer him up.

--The End

Street Interviews

"I was buying fishing tackle in this little shop by the river about twelve years ago when the store clerk told me that the world was going to end today. I was a little skeptical but I wrote down the date anyway. Supposedly, this is where I am to meet Jesus. This morning I woke up and looked at my calender and thought, 'its a nice sunny day, what the hell, I will wait around for awhile, see if he shows up." --Monkey

Beware, it's a long one

If you stand between the aisles 327.43 g37d and 330.1 k44w you will see a door. It is a tall wooden door with four glass panes that make up the top half--not unlike most of the other doors in the building. What makes this door different from every other door in the building is that it is never used and it is never talked about. It is simply treated as if it doesn't exist.

The closed stacks are in the basement of the library. It is musty and warm; no windows, just rows and rows of mechanical shelving full of books that are not popular enough to be shelved in the rooms for the public to browse yet they still retain some tidbit of information that might be of use to someone, someday. It is an inherently mysterious place that surrounds this seemingly unnecessary door.

Earlier today, as I was shelving the cooking section of the closed stacks, a small key slipped out of one of the books, bounced off of my shoe, and landed on the concrete floor with a small clang. I set down my handful of books and picked up the key. Looking back, I don't know what made me decide to try the key in the mystery door. But I did, and the door swung open.

I took a step forward then hesitated, concerned that my neglected shelving truck might give away my absence. My anxiety was short lived.  I quickly realized that I probably wouldn't be missed considering most of my co-workers still don't even know my name and that the last hour of shelving had been growing increasingly boring.

I walked through the entry-way which led directly to a long dark hallway followed by a short flight of stairs which took me somewhere between the basement and the first floor. At the top of the stairs was an elevator (how strange) next to which was a glowing button. Seeing as the downward button was my only option, I pressed it and the door silently opened. I must have been some time since the elevator had been operated because it squealed and jolted as it descended. When the elevator finally came to a stop and the door slid open I was immediately struck by a cloud of dewy humidity fogging my glasses and an overwhelming smell of chlorine which stung my nose. The whooshing sound of falling water surrounded me making any other noises (if there were any) completely imperceptible. Disoriented, and a little light-headed from the sudden blast of warm air, I pulled off my glasses and wiped them on my shirt. I returned my glasses to my face and gasped at what I could now see was a incredibly vast underground cavern filled from floor to ceiling with water slides and pools of swirling water. The slides twisted and turned, whirled and looped, spilling water in all directions. Some ran along the ceiling, some along the walls, some curled upside down, some ran through tunnels, and others seemed to dip below the water's surface and ascend again in shapes that would require a defiance of gravity. There were so many that it was impossible to tell where one ended and the next began. What a wonderful discovery! An underground cavern of water slides  just below the library!

After several minutes of staring in awe, my excitement was diminished slightly when I realized I was late for my next shift. I reluctantly stepped back into the elevator and as the door closed and the elevator began to jerk upwards I put the key in my pocket. I smiled to myself, knowing I wasn't going to return that key to where I found it.  

Some things to consider about hamsters

Never feed hamsters candy or chocolate because it can get stuck in the hamster's cheek pouches

Hamsters have hearts the size of a grain of sand and are therefore encapable of love. No matter how many strawberries you give your hamster, he will never love you back.

Hamsters living during the Pleistocene era were five feet tall, weighed around 250 pounds, and ate bats.

When a hamster bites your finger it hurts.

Hamsters laugh we just can't hear it; when we laugh they can't hear us.

In 1966 a hamster named Peter was sent to Mars in a space shuttle because scientists wanted to study the effects of Mars on hamsters.